It’s almost been a year since we first were introduced to the two most amazing babies. I will never forget the fear we felt when we first brought them into our home. There were a lot of tears. A lot of questions. A lot of uncertainties. A lot of doubt. But we knew our faith was being stretched. Up to this point, we had experienced a lot of battles. In our marriage, family relationships, individually. But this was nothing in comparison. We were taking a huge step in a direction we never imagined possible.
Since that day, there have been many challenges and many rewards. It’s been a roller coaster of events in and out of court, things I don’t want to even try to explain. Your head would probably explode! I know this, because mine almost did. Things don’t make sense. Still don’t make sense, actually. Then all of a sudden, something shifts and you are in awe. We always just trusted that we were doing what we felt was right. Following a call greater than our own. So we took it day at a time, letting things happen as they should. Trying our best not to let unbelief win over our hearts and minds. And then it happened. Clear as day, I heard the words “Parental Rights Terminated”. Terminated. The end.
No one told me how emotional it was going to be. And not just because this meant our two oldest babies were months away from being ours FOREVER, but that a mother had forever lost her own. A part of her. No matter her mistakes or mishaps, you can never know how painful it might feel to lose a part of you. A beautiful, breathing, little image of yourself. My heart broker for her. Their mother.
In the end, I know this is best for the kids and for her. But I hope that good things come of it. That she finds her way and can start fresh. Can find healing and redemption. Can rise above a stronger woman and have a future she never imagined possible. It would be a tragedy to forget the mother our babies came from. After all, if it wasn’t for her I wouldn’t have these perfect little babies in my life.
The journey has been bitter sweet. I am elated that we are now heading towards finalizing our adoption and it’s been a long time coming. But it is also the beginning to a new battle as we now try to fight for the youngest of our three, who happens to be the full sibling to our first two. But we know that we’ve been down this road before and it’s nothing we can’t handle. Whatever comes, we know it will be right in the end.
My heart is full. My life is blessed. I am grateful for every event that has brought us here. Every tear. Every cry. Every prayer.
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