More Waiting. And Waiting.

More Waiting. And Waiting.

Last week was a bit of a tough one for my family. We had two very important court dates regarding the kids and both were disappointing. Nothing like what we were hoping for. So, there I was again – faced with a new reality. More waiting. And waiting. The adoption process is anything but easy. For some it might have been, but for us it’s been a roller coaster. The thing is, it’s so important to keep in mind what it’s all about. Otherwise you become selfish and things can get ugly. I realize that the process is imperfect and full of flaws. I realize that things won’t make sense. Things will continue to move slowly and we won’t have any control. But what matters most is that they are ours for now. We love them unconditionally while they are a part of our lives. We invest in them as though they are ours. Because to me, they are. My little boy and my little girl.  On the positive side, I am seeing so much growth. Where fears and insecurities once were, they are now replaced with certainty and trust. They have given us their love freely. They have become such amazing little people these last few months. One quiet and curious. The other chatty and adventurous. They keep us on our toes and never cease to amaze us with their growing knowledge of the world around them. This is why it pains me to think about what life would be like if these precious little ones were taken from us. Not to know how it’s going to end....
So Long, Coffee Table. For now.

So Long, Coffee Table. For now.

It’s 10pm. I’m sitting on my couch with a million things I have yet to do. A million things I want to avoid. And it dawns on me that I have nothing to share or to show for tomorrow’s blog post. And that’s ok. Because this is just another instance of me being real. The real me is saying I’m tired. Exhausted. Emotional. Shaky from too much coffee. Too tired to sleep.  So many things have happened this week, I don’t even know where to start. I will spare you the details. Instead of being productive today, I was very much unproductive. I thought about doing a fun little project, snapping some pictures and sharing with you something great. But in all honesty, I was just too lazy. Too much life happening right now.  It’s funny. When you’re adopting you know you’re going to be looked at under a microscope. And you are ok with that, because it’s part of the process and it’s what you signed up for. Slowly, it starts to drain you. Some days are easier than others. This week, the smallest thing happened. I was told we would have to get rid of our coffee table. It was too much of a safety hazard. I felt myself burn up. Really?! I mean, after all our kids have been through and this coffee table is a safety hazard? My husband built this coffee table. He did a dang good job. Seeing it everyday reminds us of some small accomplishment. It’s small, but it makes us happy. So, we put the coffee table away because it’s worth...
Grow. Learn. Love.

Grow. Learn. Love.

I’ve been hearing a lot lately – be yourself – use what you have and go with it. Which, of course, causes me to reflect on things. Am I being myself? Yes. But… I have also been having to ask myself what more can I offer? I can do DIYs, share design tips, talk thrifty finds until the cows come home. But that just makes me another dime a dozen. And to me it seems so superficial. Those things don’t teach us anything about life. About struggles and triumphs. It’s just the fluff of life really. My life is SO much more than that. What I need to share should be more personal.  It’s hard. It’s wonderful. It’s scary.  Why not talk more about adoption. We are in the middle of it, after all.  Why did we choose to adopt? Is adoption for everyone? Is it hard to adopt? Did we adopt privately or publicly? What’s the process like? Is it difficult? Is it easy? Would you do it again? These are all questions I want to answer, plus more. I truly want that to be a HUGE part of my blog. I want to be an advocate for adoption. I want to share my experiences openly and honestly. I want others to explore the possibilities. To see the beauty in adoption and not be afraid of it. My life is forever changed. And what a shame it would be if I didn’t share the why’s and how’s of this wild adventure. (* music by my talented husband, Joel) Follow along. Grow. Learn. Love. XOXO, Lidy  Feel free to...
Happy Happenings

Happy Happenings

This past weekend we decided to get out of town. What an adventure it turned out to be! A drive that should only take 3 1/2 hours ended up taking MUCH longer. The traffic was pretty crazy, considering it was the long weekend. The sun was blazing in the car, making everyone pretty cranky. So cranky in fact…  I remember hearing this gurgling sound from the back of the car. The kids have been pretty sick with the cold for a few days. I was thinking it was coming from their nose? Or mouth? What the heck is that sound?! I turned around to see my little girl looking as shocked as I, when a stream of vomit came out from her mouth. EWWWW! Seriously, what the? We made an emergency pit stop at the closest exit. In chaos and panic, my husband and I jumped out of the car before it completely stopped. We unhooked the seat and took her out, removed her soiled clothing, wiped her down and wiped her down some more. We did our best to ignore the smell that now resided in our hot car. Windows down my loves, this is going to be a LONG drive. If we only knew… No more than 15 minutes later, there was that sound again. SERIOUSLY? As I turned around, I saw the sheer disgust in my eyes – in his eyes – as I realized our little boy was now releasing a stream of vomit from his mouth. Oh. My. Gosh. We have contracted the flu. And we are only 20 minutes from our destination. Please,...
Called

Called

I know it’s been a while since I shared more about our adoption journey. For that, I am sorry. It’s been so crazy here. A crazy I’ve never known before. It comes with so much emotion, I don’t know what to do with sometimes. There are days when I am so full of joy, so honored, so blessed. I often ask myself, how did I become so lucky to be placed on this path? On this journey?! Then there are days when I want to just put the kids down early for naps and crawl in a ball on my bed and cry, cry, cry. It’s tough – being a mom is tough. I find myself blessed because I have the two most amazing foster children (still on that road to adoption). The process has been good, but bumpy. It’s been one year exactly this month that my husband and I decided to adopt. Around this time last year, we were taking classes and learning in theory what it might be like to have little ones in our home. Now it’s reality. It’s hard to share everything that’s going on, because so much of it has to remain private. But I can tell you that we are still heading towards a specific date that we hope brings us the permission to start the finalization of our adoption. And while we’ve had our eyes set on that light at the end of the tunnel, another light started to peer through. We heard word that there was another baby on the way – the sibling to our two little ones. We’ve...
Did You Know

Did You Know

I wanted to dedicate this post this morning to the unknown, mysterious and hard thing about life. The not having control of or understanding why some things go smoothly and others not so much. I have been learning that life IS pain and sorrow, but the battle can be won and we can live on being happier than we can imagine. What a lot of people don’t know is that 12 months ago, my husband and I decided we were ready to start a family. And like so many other couples out there, we thought in a month or two we would be peeing on a stick and taking pictures of a positive sign. It would be perfect and all our family and friends would be happy for us. Unfortunately, that’s the thing about life. You don’t know what’s going to happen and it’s not always as easy as 1-2-3. We went on witnessing others go through a new sense of joy, as they announced their pregnancy to births. We are ALWAYS happy for our friends, because babies are miracles. No matter who has them. My husband and I might feel that brief sadness each month its a no go, but we know that we are blessed in so many other ways. I am learning that things always happen for a reason and I need to enjoy this testing time in my life. If you are like us, hoping for something thats not necessarily in your control, take heart. Enjoy this time in your life. Be grateful for the blessings you do have. Remember you aren’t alone in your...
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