So, we’re going on to three weeks. It’s been an assortment of ups and downs. The journey is interesting, always leaving me on my tippy toes. And I am constantly learning things as a first time mom.
I’m finding I have less time for me and more time for them. But that’s such a humbling thing, because I never realized how much of ME consumed my life. I’m definitely on a journey. I feel I am being steered away from certain things and toward a more satisfying destination.
I find myself becoming frustrated that I can’t do everything. I want to be able to do what I did before we had kids, but it’s not realistic. It’s selfish. I can do some of those things, but I need to lay some things to rest or at least embrace the things I cannot do. Perhaps, there will come a day when I can go back to doing some of those things, but for nowI need to let them go.
I’m tired of trying to keep up with the girl next door. Trying to prove something. Trying to impress people. Trying to get more for myself. I am ashamed to even admit it, but I’m sure if we all search our hearts there are things in there we’d rather not face. God knows my talents. My shortcomings. My desires and wants. Why does it have to be made into such a big deal? I’m still trying to answer that.
Because I’m proud of the DIY I just did, it’s like no other! So?
Because that salad was a great success for dinner last night and people were asking for the recipe! And?
Because my living room looks so darn cute with that fabulous globe I just found at the thrift store for $1 and I want people to be amazed by my find! What?!
What, is right. What’s wrong with this whole picture? I feel like I’m missing out on the point here. It’s great that I find personal satisfaction in making cute DIYs, or fixing things up, or cooking up some great recipe, or finding some nifty things for the home. But has it taken precedence in my life? Still trying to answer that question.
I guess I’ve had to do a self inventory check the last couple weeks. Being an instant mom to a 2 1/2 and 1 1/2 year old will do that to you. It’s been the best thing that has ever happened to me. I feel like I am finally growing as a person and not becoming stagnant.
I realize that it’s ok to share ideas, recipes and stories. But it’s crucual that I am honest with myself and with my readers. Because it’s that accountability that keeps my life thriving. It keeps things in perspective and honest.
What do you say, will you keep me in check? I don’t want to be that person who makes you feel like garbage that they can’t do it all and then some. I don’t want to be phony or unrelatable. I want to be that person you can confide in. The person that you feel you can share with and not feel condemned. I know that’s what I’m always looking for in a friend.
So, I better run. I have some oatmeal getting cold, a little boy calling for my attention, dishes to put away, laundry to do, a face to wash and homework to put off!