Thank you friends for your patience while I am still on vacation with my family. I know it’s been quiet around here, but I have to be honest, this break was needed for our little family. I am so thankful you are such faithful friends and followers and I can’t wait to get back to blogging and connecting with you all once more!
I decided a new years post was a must! This year has been such an incredible blessing and also a challenge. I stopped making resolutions years ago when I could never seem to achieve any of them. Mostly because I’ve learned to embrace whatever life throws at you and to accept new challenges as teachable moments and not be so hard on yourself when you make mistakes a long the way.
As I stand on this cusp of letting go of one year and entering into a new one, I find myself once more feeling that twang of emotion. Life is so short and every year seems to go by even faster than the last. Don’t you think? But this year is by far the most special to me and it will always stand out for years to come. In 2013, my husband and I became parents for the third time. We added a beautiful son to our family where he joined his older brother and sister.They have sent our lives spiraling out of control and bringing about so much joy.
I’ve learned that life can be so meaningless when you only live inside a box. When you don’t stretch the boundaries of what’s normal and accepted. When you are busy trying to look like everyone else. Sometimes, life just doesn’t go the way you want it. In fact, it really shouldn’t go the way you want it. Think about all those opportunities that we would have overlooked. Never to be discovered. Adoption is a funny thing. You always hear people say, “You are such a blessing to these children. You have given them a new hope and life”. But the truth is, they have blessed us and have given us renewed hope and a new chance at a more meaningful life.
It’s hard to go back to what life was like. Before I knew what brokeness really looked like. Before I knew what heartbreak really felt like. Before I knew what unconditional love ought to be. Being a mother has changed me, but being an adoptive mother has taught me so much more than I could have ever imagined. It makes things so real and raw. It somehow gives insight into what the world is lacking and what it really needs. Patience. Kindness. Gentleness. Selflessness. Humility. Hope. And of course, unconditional love.
And for the past few years, I’ve also been struggling with some very unhealthy relationships. Ones that I feel never get better. Someone once told me that relationships are like a shared bank account. Both parties have to make deposits and withdrawals for it to work. If one party is only ever making deposits and the other only ever withdrawing, then it won’t work. Love should be a two way street. And for a while it seems like it can work, but all of a sudden you have to step back and ask yourself if it’s healthy or unhealthy. And when you have children, you really need to do some thinking. Because those kinds of relationships can make a huge impact on you all. This year, my husband and I have some hard realities to face. But mostly because we are now responsible for our little ones and they need a healthy enviroment. More than ever.
I am so thankful for all the things God has given to us this year, but also what He has taken away. Sometimes I think I know what’s best. And I stomp when I don’t get it, like a spoiled little girl. And then I feel those arms of peace wrap around my stubborn heart. And I hear those words, that have been uttered for the last 30 years of my life.
Won’t you just trust me.
Won’t you just believe that I am good and fair.
Won’t you just see that my love for you is bigger than you will ever know.
You can stop now.
You are in capable hands.
I hope you remember that this year too friends. No matter where you are in life, I hope you find that peace. Happy New Year!
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