Holy moly, it’s 2015! It’s good to be back. I had a wonderful time with family and friends! But most of all, I had a lot of time to think and reevaluate the blog and life at home.
2014 was full of some of the best memories and some of the worst ones. I’ve been really holding on to the moments that are truly worthy of thinking about and obviously, our adoption was the highlight of last year. We waited two long years to finalize the adoption of our three toddlers and we are surely beyond blessed to have Holden, Violet and Sebastian in our lives! We also faced a lot of heart ache and a lot of change. We said goodbye to California and to some amazing people, some we may never see again. The idea of that still makes me sick. But this move has been so positive in so many ways and I am looking forward to this new chapter in our lives!
We are starting fresh! A new home, a new city. It’s only been 4 months and we are still sorting everything out! I decided this year to really challenge myself with priorities. I feel because of all the crazy, abnormal life circumstances we faced last year, our lives are way off balance and chaotic. Now that it’s mostly behind us and sort of slowing down, I still feel totally amiss. The dust is clearing and my outlook on life has changed. A lot.
Have you ever talked with someone (or are that someone) whose been to a 3rd world country for volunteer work or a mission of some sort? Where life is actually life or death. Do they ever come home and just pick up where they left off, as though they were never there? Rarely. Sometimes they just experienced something so real outside of the little bubbles we live in. That’s how I feel after 2014. I feel like I’ve seen so much, heard so much, learned so much, experienced so much that I didn’t even know what real life could be like out there. I could no longer be the person I was before. Even if I tried my hardest. And I’ve been trying really hard!
The truth is, I love blogging! I love it because I get to breath life into all the wild things that I conjure up in my mind! I get to use my imagination every day and create ideas into realities. I’m never bored and really take in the world around me more than most because I’m constantly looking to be inspired. It challenges me and teaches me to persevere and to not be afraid of failing. I get so much enjoyment meeting new people through my blog. I get to do projects that challenge me and I grow constantly as an individual.
But there’s an ugly truth to blogging too. It’s hard. It can often be draining because I’m constantly trying to find ways to inspire my readers with something they’ve never seen before. And that can be challenging because the internet is an infinite place of ideas. It takes up a lot of time in the day – between brainstorming ideas , to executing DIYS and projects, to capturing, to editing, to posting and repeat. And yes, naturally, things can get neglected in the real world when you are constantly fighting with balance.
And the kicker.
Blogging can be really superficial. I find myself talking about me, me, me, day after day, on my blog….on Facebook….on Instagram….on Twitter…on Pinterest. And every other social platform that’s coming out nowadays. I feel kind of sick of my own voice. Do you see what I’m saying? It’s a world we live in that’s really self-gloryfying and self-exalting. It’s a world where we want approval, recognition and praise. And maybe no one talks about it because they just flat out don’t agree with me, which is totally ok! Or maybe because it isn’t pretty, frilly and happy. But it’s something I wanted to be honest with you about….and myself. I don’t want to be that kind of person, who forgets what I saw and experienced that made me realize how short life is. How fragile our worlds can be. I don’t want to fill my mind with so many temporal things and lose sight on what matters 20 years from now. When I’m not blogging, all my babies have grown up and life has significantly altered.
So many times you hear bloggers say they are feeling burnt out. And I believe they are burnt out. It’s exhausting trying to keep up that kind of life style. I’m feeling it now too. I’ve been blogging for 5 years now. I’ve tried to make this my full time job. And the truth is, it’s WAY more successful than ever before, but no where near being able to pay the bills. I still love it for all the same reasons, but there comes a time in your life when you have to make some serious priorities.
I decided to give my blog one more year. I’m not sure what I’m going to do exactly after this year with my blog if things don’t change or I don’t find that balance I’m in need of. I might cut back to a few days a week, or maybe even altogether. It’s not something I’m looking forward to doing, but I know it just feels right in my heart. I’ve seeking advice with close friends and family. I’ve prayed about it. And this is what I feel I need to do. I’ll continue to share my passions with you, talk about myself a little more on social media (insert winky smile) and then come to a decision closer to the end of 2015!
Thank you so much for continuing to support this blog. For your encouraging and uplifting comments, messages and emails! Thank you for your interest in our projects and DIYs – we are honored to have such amazing and loyal readers! I hope I wasn’t too honest with you and came across negatively! I just want to be real with you…always…..and share the things I’ve been thinking about for some time. Most of all, I would love to hear your thoughts on all of this!
Hope you all had an amazing Christmas and New Years!