Last week was a bit of a tough one for my family. We had two very important court dates regarding the kids and both were disappointing. Nothing like what we were hoping for. So, there I was again – faced with a new reality. More waiting. And waiting.
The adoption process is anything but easy. For some it might have been, but for us it’s been a roller coaster. The thing is, it’s so important to keep in mind what it’s all about. Otherwise you become selfish and things can get ugly. I realize that the process is imperfect and full of flaws. I realize that things won’t make sense. Things will continue to move slowly and we won’t have any control. But what matters most is that they are ours for now. We love them unconditionally while they are a part of our lives. We invest in them as though they are ours. Because to me, they are. My little boy and my little girl.
On the positive side, I am seeing so much growth. Where fears and insecurities once were, they are now replaced with certainty and trust. They have given us their love freely. They have become such amazing little people these last few months. One quiet and curious. The other chatty and adventurous. They keep us on our toes and never cease to amaze us with their growing knowledge of the world around them. This is why it pains me to think about what life would be like if these precious little ones were taken from us. Not to know how it’s going to end. Not knowing the how’s and when. But no matter how tempted I am to dwell on these things, I can’t. I won’t. I just smile and I hope.
So, we endure these next couple months until the next court hearing. We hold on to hope once more. We never let go, no matter where it takes us. Adoption is a beautiful ride and as long as we are together, I know it will be all right.
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