The Hardest Part about Being a Blogger: Bullying

The Hardest Part about Being a Blogger: Bullying

Blogging

Yes, you read it. Bullying. I know I open up a lot about our adoption on my blog. I open myself up and try to be as honest as possible with my readers, because to every person there is a story. And if you hear that story, you start to know them on a deeper level, more than just skin deep. But what you don’t see are behind the scenes. The words you hear, the actions you feel, the damage that is caused all due to being open, creative and authentic. 

I decided to share with you why I blog. The reason why I do what I do and what is the hardest part about being a blogger. 

I started blogging four years ago because I’ve always been an outgoing and bubbly person. So naturally,  when blogging became a huge thing, it felt right to want to start one up. It was an outlet and a way to grow. It was an avenue to create and experiment. And I am so happy that I have this blog more than ever, because it helps me share my struggles and stories with others that I know need to hear the truth about how painful life can be. The DIYs and decor posts are areas my husband and I are passionate about. It would be unnatural not to want to share it with others. Not to mention,  connecting with brands and the amazing people behind those brands. They are some of the most brilliant and creative folks I’ve met and they continue to inspire me! It’s such a blessing to be able to stay at home with my kids and make a little money on the side. Best. Job. Ever. 

But I’ve learned a lot about blogging that I didn’t anticipate. Like being called a copy cat on a daily basis. Individuals spreading lies about my personality and work, just to tear me down and any achievements or accomplishments I’ve attained. It’s brought to light some of the most negative people who constantly put a damper on any success, never acknowledging that I might have worked hard or earned the good that is happening in my life. The worst is losing relationships because of all that is said in this regard. Words are powerful. They can tear you down or build you up. I believe that more than ever. 

Now what? Is it worth continuing? Does it matter what the neigh sayers think, say or do? I’m not one to care too much of what people think of me (obviously it hurts like hell when you hear all the lies). I no longer try to defend or try to explain away all the accusations thrown in my face. If they can’t see the truth, then I don’t know how it can be a healthy and thriving relationship any way. I have no choice but to let those kinds of people go. I’m better for it. They are better for it. Life goes on. 

I don’t know if I would go as far as saying they are bullies, but that’s what it feels like sometimes. I came across this definition the other day on a bullying statistic site that really shocked me. Verbal Adult Bully: Words can be quite damaging. Adult bullies who use this type of tactic may start rumors about the victim, or use sarcastic or demeaning language to dominate or humiliate another person. This subtle type of bullying also has the advantage – to the bully – of being difficult to document. However, the emotional and psychological impacts of verbal bullying can be felt quite keenly and can result in reduced job performance and even depression.

There you have it. I mean, do you know what you would do in this case? I’m at a loss for words and I know you are all open minded and kind hearted. I would love your thoughts. 

Thank you friends for your constant love, encouragement and support. Hopefully you can see that I really do appreciate you in a very big way! 

XOXO, Lidy

Feel free to leave a comment!

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  • Christa Sterken

    I too blog, I hadn’t thought of this before. It is good that you brought it up, surely someone will be comforted by your honesty. Mostly my comments have been nice, but then….it is mostly people i know that still read it I think. I am sorry that this happened to you :(

    • HelloLidy

      Thank you Christa. I am so thankful that me bringing this to light is comforting. It’s not easy to talk about, but it is happening regardless. Thank you for stopping by and for your uplifting words :)

      XOXO

  • I think your blog is beautiful and authentic and creative. I don’t know why people feel the need to bully. To be honest I don’t write controversial posts (or anything too personal about parenting/my kids) because I can’t handle the criticism. I’ve always been really sensitive that way. xo

    • HelloLidy

      Thank you friend. The weird thing is, people are very supportive and loving toward all my personal posts about adoption and parenting. It’s the creative stuff – the DIYs – that I hear the most negative things about. You are smart in being cautious about how much you share though, especially if a stranger is going to hurt you by being open.

      XOXO

  • i think people hide behind the anonymity of the internet these days. just stay positive and keep doing the great work you do, lidy! haters gonna hate.

    • HelloLidy

      Thank you so much Madeline :) You are right – haters are going to keep hating on all I do. I try not to let it bother me, but it’s good to be aware of the fact that it’s out there and they should feel ashamed for the lies and words they speak. I appreciate your kind words :)

      XOXO

  • Sabrina Grant

    You are a kick ass blogger and person in general! They are just jealous and that’s why “they” do it 😉 You wear your heart on your sleeve, aren’t trying to constantly “one up” others (unlike some people), and are so humble. Keep your head up and those fingers typin’ girl. All your bloggies love you! I know I do!!!

    • HelloLidy

      Sabrina, thank you! You have always been so supportive of my blog and have stood up for me. It wouldn’t be so hurtful if it was just anonymous people saying those things. It’s hard to believe that it mostly comes from those who are suppose to be family :( Love you friend.

      XOXO

  • First and foremost, how dare they! You are amazing.

    Second, there are a lot of people out there on the internet who post comments just to get a rise out of you. Swell use of time, right? I’d say delete those and never give them the satisfaction of a reply. But if it’s something more than that, like an email or a blog post written about you or something, stand tall and defend your work. Perhaps there’s a miscommunication that can be resolved with civility.

    What you do is incredible, don’t forget it!

    • HelloLidy

      Rachel, you are so wonderful. Thank you friend! I wish they were just comments that I could simply delete. Mostly, it’s immature gossip that circle back to me. I recently received an email from a complete stranger who told me that some people “close” to me were saying the most horrific lies about my character and blog. It was embarrassing that the source was someone I have never met before, knowing that there must be others who have heard similar things. I am keeping my head up and staying strong solely on the fact that I know these are lies. It’s just so painful when you are passionate about what you do and you pour your heart and soul into it. I am SO thankful for friends like you who are there to help me stay focused.

      XOXO

      • You’re kidding me?! Lidy, that is so awful, I am so sorry! Just know that none of those things are true. Typically lies like that stem from a form of jealous. It’s obvious from looking at your blog and talking to you that you are nothing but upstanding and amazing!

        Thankful to have you as a friend, hang in there!

        • HelloLidy

          I wish I was making this up, but it’s sadly true. Thank you Rachel, so thankful for your friendship XO

  • JoAnne H

    You are very courageous! If everyone understood that to every person there is a story like you do the world would be a much happier place. Thanks for all your inspiration – in your crafts and your authenticity! XOXO

    • HelloLidy

      Thank you JoAnne, that is extremely encouraging to hear. I am so happy you can see my intentions and that they are good. So thankful for your words :)

      XOXO

  • This is an issue that has always boiled my blood. I will never understand why some people want to spend their time and energy tearing people down, especially to the ones who are brave enough to be authentic and open!!! It’s a hard thing to do! I really admire you for touching on the topic, Lidy. I can’t be an easy thing to talk about, but it needs to be addressed. Our stories are shared to inspire others, and that’s exactly what you are doing! Keep going!! I’ve found that nothing quiets down a negative Nancy better than silence. I don’t give them my time and I move on!

    • HelloLidy

      Thank you Amy! You are truly sweet and I appreciate your advice. I have to be honest, a lot of these terrible words and rumors are from family. I have an easy time letting it go and not saying anything, but it’s the most damaging. If I have anonymous readers commenting, I can easily delete and forget it happened. When it’s those closest to you, it’s hard to move on without feeling constantly discouraged. What really has helped me, is opening up about this kind of behavior and reading words of encouragement. It helps me see the silver lining and reminds me that I am not crazy and what I’m doing is authentic and unique. Thank you again so much, I appreciate all your constant support!

      XOXO

      • Lidy, I really empathize with this. I have a very complicated family with several unhealthy relationships and one I’ve had to completely sever. Words are far more hurtful when they come from those who are supposed to love and encourage us. I’ve come to realize that if you wouldn’t accept a certain behavior from a stranger/acquaintance, you don’t have to accept it from a family member. I hope you continue to find the joy in blogging in spite of what you are going through. You are very inspiring and that adds value to the world!

        • HelloLidy

          Thank you for sharing that Marlene. You are right, we don’t have to find that kind of behavior acceptable. It’s taken me years to realize that, but I do feel free to be happy and myself a lot more than I use to :) I appreciate you friend, thank you!

      • Agh, family is a lot harder to ignore… I haven’t gone through anything like that yet and can’t imagine how disheartening that must be. I’m so sorry to hear that. I think Marlene makes an excellent point that certain behavior is just plain unacceptable no matter who it comes from. Keep your head up! There are so many of us who appreciate what you do!

        • HelloLidy

          Thanks Amy! And be thankful you haven’t had to deal with family treating you this way! Strangers are a little easier to ignore 😉 Nonetheless, I am thankful for your words and advice! XO

  • Angelica Trujillo

    Ive been reading your blog for a while, but i dont comment to much. I just wanted to say how much i love it, don’t stop. God bless.

    • HelloLidy

      Thank you Angelica! I am so happy you commented and shared that with me – I am so grateful for your words :)

      XOXO

  • We’ve been dealing with this a lot lately as well. I’m glad to see it brought up from the blogger’s perspective. It’s easy for people to sit at home and write terrible comments and not think about how it affects the person that puts CRAZY amounts of work into each of their posts. It’s sad and it gets really discouraging when it happens so regularly.

    Thanks for putting this out there. Everything you do is incredible, Lidy!

    • HelloLidy

      Thank you so much Caitlin. Your words are so incredibly encouraging, I look up to you guys and all your amazing work and accomplishments. To hear you say you go through the same thing assures me that I’m not alone in feeling this way. You are right, the easy part is sitting at home and speaking such terrible words. It’s a pity that people coward around judging others so harshly. After a while it does get hard to ignore the mean things people say and do, but I am so grateful to have amazing friends to help lift me up, encourage me and focus on what matters.

      I hope you guys know that what you do is amazing as well, your hard work is paying off (obviously) and that people really just say things from a deep root of insecurity and jealousy. There is nothing we can do, but move forward. Keeping on with what we do best and not let others drag us down.

      XOXO

  • Allie

    I am so sorry you are dealing with this! I have to tell you, as someone who loves reading your blog, its appalling to me that anyone could make you feel like that. Yes the diy, design and decorating post’s you write are amazing and are the reason I started following your blog! However, its your adoption post’s that warm my heart and shows me what wonderful people you and your husband are!!
    Dont let those negative comments get to you. I know thats easier said than done… I too, have been “bullied” at my prevous job. It was incredibly hurtful to find out what my peers were saying about me behind my back. I found a ton of facebook messages between my coworkers, mocking me, calling me awful names and so on…. It really got to me and I ended up quitting because i was so hurt. Its not right, and its not fair! I wish people could spend more time finding the good in one another, help eachother acheive what they want in life, support others that are having a hard time and keep the negative comments to themselves.
    Just know you are not alone, and im sure i speak for everyone who reads your blog in saying you are one talented, courageous, strong woman with a huge heart!! Dont let anyone else tell you otherwise! :)

    • HelloLidy

      Hi Allie, thank you for sharing your story with me. I’m sorry you had to go through that. I know all to well the feeling of betrayal and the pain of realizing what others are thinking and saying behind your back. I do find it shocking what people can come up with, I don’t know what possesses them to say such hurtful and untrue things. I am just lucky to have positive and loving friends to surround myself with. It definitely outshines the negativity! You are so right, I don’t know why it’s so hard to see the good in one another.The world really would be a better place if people could just keep all those thoughts to themselves. Your words are so uplifting and I am so grateful you stopped in to share your heart with me!

      XOXO

  • sara albers

    Lidy – what you do is amazing….and you telling this story is amazing as well. It is sad and immature for others to project their jealousy on you. Your blog is a reflection of you – and it shines bright. Hold your head high! What you do is wonderful.
    Stay true to yourself…..
    Best,
    Sara (from alice & lois)

    • HelloLidy

      Thank you Sara – it brings me great joy knowing you can see my true reflection in what I do on my blog. Such a relief to know that I have such wonderful support. Thank you again for your kind words and encouragement!

      XO

  • thediynurse

    It takes so much to put yourself out there for the whole world to see. And unless you’ve really blogged for a significant amount of time, no one will really understand how much work it is and how much time and effort go into every post.

    I think its just a matter of time and telling yourself that it isnt about you. Someone’s tendency and need to pick and prod is all about them, their needs, their problems. YOu’re just an easy target. You will continue to grow as a blogger and as a woman and they will continue to find others to tear down once they see their negativity has no effect on you. I can only hope that they find peace with themselves at a point.

    It has to be exhausting for angry/jealous/plain spiteful people. I’ll never understand people that take the time to go out of the way and be nasty. I don’t have the time, energy, or heart for such a thing. I hope you learn not to take it personally over time. ANd I know that’s soooo easy to say and much harder to do. But you have a great and strong community here willing to back you! Get em girl

    • HelloLidy

      Thank you so much Caroline! You have no idea how good it is to hear those words of affirmation! I completely agree, it must be absolutely exhausting being that negative all the time. I can’t take it personal at this point, but I also have a lot of amazing friends to remind me that it’s all lies and to focus on the truth – so thank you for that :)

      XOXO

  • Rita Green

    Such a terrible part of the internet. You are dealing with it maturely. And its great you are not just dealing with it well, but addressing it publicly needs to be done. It needs to be brought to light that just because people are hiding behind a computer, you still need to watch your words and your behaviour. You are great, your blog is great, and I wish I was as creative as you. :)

    • HelloLidy

      Thank you Rita. It was scary coming out publicly with it, but I am so happy to have brought it out into the light. I too think people need to watch their words and behavior, because it can cause serious damage. Thank you for your encouragement!

      XOXO

  • Jacqueline

    No one can make you feel anything. That’s all just a perception and does not say anything about you but more about them. Just carry on and it makes it easier to let go of those people around you. Focus on the peeps that encourage you rather than the other ones. Much love and happiness

    • HelloLidy

      Thank you Jacqueline – you are right. It only says more about them when they stoop to that level. I am moving forward and leaving this all behind me. I can only hope people start to realizing what the power of their words can really do. Thank you for your encouragement and kind words!

      XOXO

  • heather@RestlessOasis.blogspo

    I really don’t understand how people feel the freedom to be so unkind……it’s shameful really. It’s not easy opening your life up and being vulnerable, I wish people would respect that. You are a constant source of inspiration……. you have a gift, keep on keeping on!

    • HelloLidy

      Thank you so much Heather – those are such sweet words. It is hard trying to be open, honest and authentic. It just hurts when people think I’m a liar and fake, despite the things I choose to share. I am just grateful for the friends that do see me for who I really am and that’s enough to just turn a deaf ear to the negative things people say. Thanks for being one of the good ones 😉

      XOXO

  • Chas

    God created you beautifully and sees you in the best light. You are a treasure to Him. The way God views you should be the way these people see you, but if they do not see you like God does then it may be time to let go of them gracefully. I say this because I can totally relate with what you are going through. It is not fair for others to make cruel and false judgements of yourself. In response, pray for them, see them as God sees them with compassion and understanding. Maybe they are very hurt, wounded and unhappy. I know it is hard because humanly we want to be mad at these attackers and bitterly cut ties. In result from these situations, I have learned to pray for them, forgive them and gracefully move on. This is what I have been learning to do for myself. I hope this helps! Keep spreading your creativity and don’t let anyone try to bring you down ;). -Chas

    • HelloLidy

      This is such good advice, Chas! Thank you so much for sharing your experience and wisdom on the matter. I’m always so comforted when someone else has experienced this and triumphed – gives me hope that the truth always prevails and things work out in the end!

      XOXO

      • Chas

        :)

  • Debra-Kay Diehm

    Hey Lidy, just stopped by your blog and read this. It’s sad that these things happen but they happen in every area of life don’t they? I’ve found that it usually comes from people who can’t achieve what you are doing and therefor make themselves feel better by tearing others down to where they are.
    God did not call us to settle or to lower ourselves to make others “feel” better but to grow and be a light to the world in darkness. Keep shining your light knowing that who you are and what you are doing is not for man but for God. He put that creative ability within you; share it and let Him be glorified in you!

  • Sheena

    I’m in catch up mode, having just discovered your blog…all the way from South Africa !!!
    Having read what was available to be read and not knowing you, here’s what I have discovered:
    You are an inspiration
    You are honest
    You are real
    You are a true mother
    You create a safe place for me the reader
    In short, I can’t wait to get to know you more through your written word !
    Well done Lidy

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