Then There Were Three

Then There Were Three

It’s been a week since I was given our third precious foster son! He is only two months and has somehow completed our family in a way I never thought possible. I hold him in my arms, in awe and wonder. How did we get here? How could this be? I never imagined we would have three babies, all under three, all under a year. If you were to tell me this was to be a year ago, I would have laughed in your face and told you you were crazy. 

Adoption Story

Life is totally different with a baby in the house. Not only do I have two busy toddlers during the day, but I have a baby who needs me during the night as well. It’s been good, but challenging. Mostly, I’ve been feeling more afraid. Afraid what will happen if I lose him or all three. Afraid that I might have fallen hard for these amazing babies and I will never be the same because of it. Afraid because I wish so badly they were mine forever so I could stop being afraid all the time. 

Do 

Not

Fear. 

Period. 

It’s not a request, it’s a command. So I lay down my inabilities to predict future outcomes. I surrender control I do not have. I walk blindly, but in freedom. My life is in good hands. Capable hands. Loving hands. Hands that hold me together in times of crazy fear. The kind of fear that causes my body to tremble. Hands that have knit my babies together, who knew them by name before they ever existed. His hands are safe. In them I hold firmly. 

I do know with certainty I was meant to be a mother to these babies. They have brought me happiness I cannot describe. I cry often, because I never knew I could be this blessed. These perfect creatures in my care. MY care?! Wow. I could never have imagined this in a life time. I obviously lack imagination. 

This is where I’m at. A life with three beautiful babies. A heart that hopes. Arms that love and hold and cradle and tenderly touch. I am so lucky to be their mommy. 

XOXO, Lidy

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  • Jamie Thompson

    Oh I am so right there with you. We have had baby girl for 9 1/2 weeks (she’s almost 3 months) and I have fallen HARD. It kills me to think of life without her around, but I trust God knows what he’s doing and will keep me together should she be returned to her family. Praying for ya girl, the baby nights are both amazing and exhausting.

    • HelloLidy

      Thanks so much Jamie! I will keep you guys in my prayers as well. It’s so hard not knowing the fate of these little sweet babes! But you’re right, God knows exactly what He plans for us and for them. That’s what I trust, in His wisdom and not my own! Thanks for sharing :)

      XOXO

      • Jamie Thompson

        Indeed He does, and He is so good to us. No matter how long we have them they are our sweet little blessings from Him.

  • Maggiemejor

    Oh. I hope those babies stay with you forever! Beautiful words mama. Btw- how do you find time to do those great DYI crafts?!?:-)

    • HelloLidy

      Thank you so much! I hope so too – I can’t bare the thought of losing them!!! I have a lot of down time when they nap! I am lucky that they like to sleep :) But who knows, that could all change very quickly!

      XOXO

      • Lucky you. Mine is always awake, well, except at night, which is when I do most of my blogging. Everyone is asleep!! Ah! Lol. Makes it hard to take pictures though… sigh.

  • M

    I am one who rarely is moved by an internet post/story. You have moved me. Mostly because I feel such intense vulnerability raising my own two children that I birthed. I can’t imagine the vulnerability and ache you must feel with your three, that you acquired under a year. May God bless you, your husband, and YOUR beautiful children.

    • HelloLidy

      Thank you so much, I do truly appreciate your words. Vulnerable is the perfect word to describe the state we’re in lately. Not having control of what may or may not happen is a scary process. Slowly, we are learning to let go of what lies ahead and we have been able to take it day at a time!

      So happy you stopped by!
      XOXO

  • I really hope you keep your babies forever. It’s obvious that you love them more than any other mom would.

    • HelloLidy

      Thank you so much, I pray that it all works out as well. Right now, we are loving on these babies as long as they are in our care :)

      XO

  • Nicola

    how blessed you are…………….enjoy your babies

    • HelloLidy

      Thank you so much Nicola, I do feel so blessed :)

      XO

  • Caitlin McGrath

    So excited for you! I love watching your journey via little peeks on instagram. Speaking of which… so jealous of the amazing farm finds!

    • HelloLidy

      Thanks Caitlin! I am so happy you are following along our crazy journey! I know, I’m hoping we are able to keep all those amazing finds. My husband dug through a lot of garbage to recover them!

      XO

      • Caitlin McGrath

        I bet! Luckily the garbage picking part is half the fun for me!

  • Briana @ Sweet Dreams

    so happy for the joy you have found. your post today was a great reminder to me to ‘lay down my inabilities to predict future outcomes’. having a husband with a degenerative disease creates that urgency in me to prepare for my imagined future, one i hope is far kinder than i prepare for. i need to remember your sweet words and your reminder that His Hands hold us all. Thank you!

    • HelloLidy

      Aw, you’re so welcome Briana! I am so happy my words have touched you and helped you in some way. It’s such a hard thing to do – trusting that the future holds hope in the midst of so much uncertainty. But I know that it takes great faith to be able to be at peace with not having control and giving up our idea of what’s best. I’m here anytime you need a good reminder – or when I need some reminding too 😉

      XO

  • Bella247

    I’ve been reading your adoption story over the past few days, and this is the post I needed. We have two preciois foster sons ages 3 and 1. They bring an unsurmountamle amount of joy to our lives, but this week has been hard. I want to cling to them, but I am not their only mother. Thank you for reminding me that when we have fear, we need to “surrender the control we do that have”.

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